I Don't Want Kids...
I rarely post serious issues here on my blog, mainly because I want it to be a place of positivity and poking fun at stuff, especially the serious stuff. However as I sit typing this, I have some… resentment towards the attitude many of us have towards having children.
Let me explain, I am a young, Jamaican male; a potent combination that somehow means that I must, by society’s standards, be married and/or pumping out kids with multiple baby mommas, it could be a combination of both. It’s expected and hell even sometimes encouraged by the very persons who will turn around and judge you for the very same thing that they encouraged. Let me give a little background as to why this irritates me.
A close friend of mine and I were having a rather spirited conversation about life as a Millennial in this messed up time. From the ridiculous job requirements with shit pay to the insane “benefits” they claim are the perks of your chosen job to the constant complaints that we are an entitled bunch of lazy selfie taking zombies. Eventually we got to the topic of kids to which she mentioned that she wanted to have 2 kids or more and I stated I was not interested in the slightest in having any. To my surprise, she told me that I had to have kids cause that’s why I’m here and it was my God given duty to do so I laughed because I thought she said it in jest…. only to realize that she was deathly serious and was staring at me with the face of someone who has met upon a strange yet fascinating creature. I paused and asked her if she really believed that, she said yes and said I only felt this way because I was young and free. I was genuinely intrigued because in this age of information we are still stuck with ideas of how we should be based on what others think and say. But she has not been the first person to try and pursue the point of having children because it was some sacred duty, there is almost a religious fervor in procreating that is honestly terrifying. I must stop here to dismiss your thoughts of her wanting to “breed” for me, it is quite possible for man and woman to be casual friends. Get your mind out the trenches.
You will hear many a person, males mostly defend this belief with bible verses, that man must be a breeder. I am not a fan of children. I have a niece and multiple younger cousins whom I love dearly, but for myself I made the decision not to have any because I don’t feel the need/pressure to have any nor do I crave the “sense of fulfillment” so many people claim to have when they get children. But perhaps what irritated me the most was the casual, wholesale dismissal of what I have planned for MY life. This train of thought is not unique to my good friend, but is a widespread belief many share.
Look if you believe that your God given purpose here is to have children and so on, good for you. But remember that other persons have plans for their lives: some of us wish to travel, others may wish to pursue a life with as little burden as possible or even the plain old reason of an individual just not being interested. Don’t project your expectations on people. It’s disrespectful in that you as a person casually dismiss the thoughts of another fully functioning individual. I do not join the having kids because kids fi have bandwagon. Furthermore, there is the worrying trend that we have these days where babies have become accessories on social media, the latest fads and where so many of us are having kids when we are not ready, emotionally AND financially.
I have to make clear here that I do not have anything against persons who decide to have children, that is a beautiful path to take and I have a certain respect for them. Parenthood is a beautiful thing and raising a small human being is no easy task, especially with the time we live in where the dangers are growing day by day. That is a terror I cannot fathom. But it’s also something that myself and many other individuals have no interest in and that does not make us less of a person nor does it means we hate children.
I am not against saying that a person may make a good parent but stating that one MUST have kids is a dangerous and disrespectful mindset to have. People are diverse with their own beliefs and plans; my plan is not your plan.