Youths want Lisa Hanna banned from Instagram and Cooking Rice
Youths of Jamaica have overwhelmingly voted to ban Lisa Hanna from the cooking of any State sponsored rice. This is in response to Hanna’s utterances regarding the banning of incarcerated Deejay Vybz Kartel music from the airwaves.
“We, as a country, just don’t trust her cooking any rice for us. I mean she could be on Instagram and burn it. Who’s going to wash that pot? I don’t see anyone volunteering to clear up that political mess” one spokesperson was quoted as saying.
The People’s National Party Youth Organization declined to comment on the record but reports are coming in that an unofficial meeting has been called. According to our inside source, the meeting descended into chaos after a phone rang and the popular Vybz Kartel song ‘Fever’ played in all its YVA glory and jerk pans were quickly set up outside the venue in order to capitalize on the festivities. The Jamaica Labour Party’s youth arm, Young Jamaica, on the other hand, broke their one year turn up to put out a statement:
‘We will be consulting with one of our main stakeholders, Nesbeth as we seek to move forward for the betterment of our country”
Prime Minister Andrew Holness was called to provide comment but was reported to be in a photoshoot while monitoring communities for acts of daggering as he continues his crusade against Dancehall. Vybz Kartel was texted for his opinion on the matter to which he replied with a voice note saying ‘OH’